encumbering delusions

Life is an exploration of explanations. We are thrown into this existence with no knowledge and few experts to obtain even a fraction of understanding from. Even if there were more of this existence known, we, as humans, are too obstinate to take the advice. In most cases, we think of ourselves as the most qualified to assess the situation, regardless of another’s expertise and eagerness to enlighten us. It seems as if we set ourselves up for life to be enigmatic and arduous. This is especially evident in our state of adolescence when we seek a cognizance of ourselves. To many, this cognizance seems so esoteric that they abandon their distinctiveness and conform to society. To others, their self-formulated hypothesis seems so profound that they delude themselves into pseudo omniscience. This illustrates the choice of some to bequeath off of another’s emergence, while some are preluding the other’s actions. This occurs in all social hierarchies. One or a select few are the dominant alpha while the others are the followers. This scenario is ensnared by conflictions. The primary conflict comes in when the alpha’s hypothesis is observed as fallacious. Narcissistic, the alpha becomes encumbered by a misinterpretation, while the recessive ones are influenced to overpower. We, as social creatures, follow in the same behaviorism. Everyone aims for the alpha position, but some lack the ability and others lack the confidence to obtain that lofty position. Then the one’s that do achieve that position will inevitably fail in maintaining it. At one point in my life, I addressed this existence simplistically. I felt almost omniscient. I thought that all knowledge about life could be derived at through logical causality, and that my logical ability was proficient enough to figure it out. I believed in this delusion to the point where I began attempting to obtain my selfish desires through means of manipulation. I enacted a travesty so convincing, I started to deceive myself by it. Everyone is at least a slight bit intrigued by the notion of manipulating someone. The instinctual desire for dominance is enacted in several methods. For many, it is simply a battle of brawn. For others it has been mutated into a petty game of deceit. With the progression of our mental prowess, we’ve descried that dominance can be derived in more intangible methods than brute force. The newer method, while more intangible, is also infinitely more complicated. It’s presumptuous to claim that these petty mind games for dominance are completely intangible. It’s narcissistic to think the others are so unbeknownst to the genuine intentions. A dedicated focus towards a goal can lead to an unexpected insidious vindication. Indulged in my delusions and travesties, I was ignorant. I was overwhelmed by a web of deceit to the point of being inobservant to the other’s insidious intentions. My perception was encumbered by this fabrication. I was benighted to the other’s manipulation, because I was too engulfed by my own delusion. At one point, I stood back in an observational stance. I noticed what was happening and what had happened. I felt victimized, but in the same instance I felt equitably indemnified. I fragmented my goal and became a recluse. In my reclusion, I uttered out an abstract expression to identify my feeling, primarily humiliation. I intended to dominate and I was engulfed in this delusion of an intangible victorious path. When in reality, I was dominated and henceforth unbeknownst to it. The feeling of victimization led to compunction. I felt guilty for what I had attempted to infiltrate. On top of all of that, I felt discomforted. I had grown accustomed to certain situations and now I felt I needed to spontaneously abandon those positions. Lastly, the reclusion necessary to enlighten myself left me lonely. Through the bombardment of all my thoughts and emotions I created a sketch that I called, Encumbering Delusions. Now that sketch has come to life on canvas. So I present to you… Encumbering Delusions.

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